the hurricane inside my brain

How friends are born

All my life, I have hated being told what to do. If someone tells me I *should* do something, I am immediately reluctant. That’s why “buy now” offers never work for me. I would rather stubbornly pay more money later on or go without, rather than feel that I was forced into buying something.

But I’m in Social Media for a very specific reason. I need people take action. You might hear some people say “it’s all about the conversation.” Weeelllll….yes and no. Conversations can predispose people to take action later, or they can drive people to take action right away. But if you don’t get people to take action sooner rather than later you are going to have a whole lot of meetings where people are shouting at you: “Social media is a waste of time!’ “There’s no ROI!” “Social media experts are no more than snake oil salesmen!” Trust me, THOSE conversations are not the ones you want to be having.

So, how can you drive people to action when there are a whole lot of people (like me) who don’t want to be told what action to take?

Here’s one way I get social media to work for me, personally. See what I posted on Twitter, above? It shows you how I move people to take action along a certain path. From stranger to friend. Or from stranger to business associate. Or from stranger to evangelist. Whatever the goal is, this sequence of steps works for me. Here’s how.

1.) Everyone starts as a stranger. (Even people I’ve known all my life were strangers once). So I follow or am followed by new people every day. Lots of them, in fact. I have a target audience of people I connect try to with, but I am open to just about anyone who wants to connect with me.

2.) Talk to people. In social media, I talk to lots of people, publicly, first. On Twitter, that means using @’s. This is so I can find people who are talking about *ideas* that interest me, or find people who think my ideas are interesting.

3.) Move the people who are discussing like-minded ideas to more private, individual conversations. The people who I’ve been sharing ideas with over time, I send them a private Direct Message (DM) saying something like “hey, I like your ideas. Let’s talk more about them.”

4.) Move those people to other social media platforms. After I’ve talked with people a bit, I ask them to also connect on Facebook or LinkedIn so we can learn more about each other. More information leads to more conversations and more ideas.

5.) Move people to more in-depth conversations. Phone calls or emails or, if possible, a meeting. Sometimes merely social, a coffee or a drink. But more often, it’s business. And if it’s business, I do have an agenda. Here it is: 1) what we both want 2) ideas on how to make that happen 3) closure and next steps

6.) Ahh, next steps. For me, the next steps are always “let me write you a proposal based on what we just talked about.” You see, I’ve just asked them what they need. I’ve discussed ideas for how together we can help make that happen. Now all I have to do is put it in writing so we can make it a business deal.

And you know what? I believe there are a whole lot of really specific business problems that can be solved by a great social media strategy. And once people see exactly how it works, they almost always agree to the proposal.

You’ll notice there isn’t an ounce of hard sell anywhere along that process. It’s all about sharing ideas that move people to action. Which is what I adore most about social media.

Oh, and yes. All those people that have moved from stranger to friend? I adore you too.

That’s my strategy, and you’re welcome to it. Do you have any ideas you’re willing to share?

photo: agaroza5

Here’s one of those completely unforeseen consequences that happens to me *all the time* now that I’ve been in social media for a while.

People ask me if they can borrow my network.

They don’t use exactly those words. They have a message they think is important. And they ask me to broadcast it to my entire network. Or they want me to tell people about their event, or their blog, or their favorite charity. They ask me to “please RT” something on Twitter. They want me to promote their work, or help them get a job, or just tell people they exist.

A few things are interesting to me about this.

One, sometimes the very same people who are asking me for help are ones who have been criticizing me for growing my network so big and so fast. Irony always makes me smile

Two. Yes, yes, yes. I want to be as helpful as I can. Always. Everyday. Anyone who has ever gotten a late night email from me with a long explanation of something they didn’t understand knows this to be true. So does everyone I’ve ever personally introduced to a contact, or written a recommendation for, or had a project done for free, or helped them work through a particularly difficult problem. I have spent my career arguing that kindness is a great business strategy, and live that mantra every day.

But here’s the thing.

I have built my network in part by being very conscious of what messages I send out to them. I take great pains not to be annoying or spammy, or intrusive or a waste of their time.

And it’s not that I think your message is annoying or spammy or intrusive or a waste of time. Especially not if it’s coming from YOU.

YOU are the one that’s engaged in your cause, or your ideas, or your life’s work, or your passion. YOU can explain it better than I can. And YOU are the one that can prove your own value, show the world how you think, be your own best advocate.

What I am more than happy to do is to help you grow your own network. To tell you everything I know about creating a community of people that is as big or as small or as active or as passive as you want. I can tell you how to engage people, message people, move them to action.

I want to help you. Just — don’t tell me HOW to help you. Have a real conversation with me, and tell me what you want to accomplish.

And now that I’ve got that off my chest, YES, you can borrow my network. That’s what I’ve created it for, to increase the amount of good things that can happen in this world. Just ask politely, work together with me on the best way to use it, and understand why if I do say no.

Thoughts? Ideas? Anyone else have this happen?

photo: nyki_m

I was chatting today with my very first boss in my advertising career, Keith Lane. And Keith started talking about something so interesting that I had to say “wait, wait, wait, slow down, I want to blog this.” :0

He said “There are three kinds of conversations in business. There’s the conversation that’s just for the sake of conversation. ‘Weather, kids, how ‘bout them Knicks?’

Then there’s the conversation about possibilities. ‘What if we did this and have you thought about that and what would happen if we approached it this way.’

Finally there’s the conversation for action. ‘Here’s what needs to get done. Let’s make it happen.’”

The reason this engaged me so much is that I really do think about these things. I worry about having too much or too little of the first kind of conversation. I love the second kind: the idea generating stage. That’s the conversation where there’s engagement, inspiration, insight. But I know that the goal is always to move the conversation to the third stage, the conversation for action.

I’ve heard it said that social media is “all about the conversation.” Yes. But. Have you thought about how those conversations work to actually accomplish your objectives? Or are you still wondering how to measure ROI when all you’re doing is talking?

Thoughts?

photo credit: purpleslog

Think, for a moment, about how a movie works. There’s a concept, something you can sum up in an elevator speech. There’s a story line. Characters, with personalities. There’s dialogue and conversations. Then there’s some random imagery, there’s the look and feel of the movie. Production values. And oh, yes, you know that sequence that doesn’t say much, but is just a random little video sequence set to music? There’s that too.

Now think about a brand, and how it communicates in social media. There’s the concept behind the brand, something that you can sum up in an elevator speech. There’s a story line – a history of the company and what it’s doing. There are characters: the CEO and all the little supporting roles. There are conversations and dialogue. Then there’s some random imagery, and there’s the look and feel of the brand. There are production values. And oh, yes, you know that sequence that doesn’t say much, but is just a random little video sequence set to music? It’s on YouTube. There’s that too.

What if we thought bigger picture about how a brand functions in Social Media. What if we really truly thought of it like a movie for the brand? A story line that gets told through words and images and a level of engagement so great you get lost for a period of time.

And yes, I know, I know. The conversations in social media take place in real time, and have to be authentic, and can’t be acted or scripted.

But that just makes the idea even cooler.

Just thinkin’ 

Quick! Who’s on a US ten dollar bill? Do you know? If yes, congrats (and you can stop reading now). But if not…think about why you don’t know. After all, assuming you live in the United States, you’ve probably seen hundreds or even thousands of those bills in your lifetime.

The reason is this: you don’t remember what doesn’t engage you. In fact, you barely even *see* something that doesn’t engage you first. If there’s no story, or message, or context or relevance to you, something you see almost every day might as well be invisible. So marketers, advertisers, writers, information pushers – why does so much of what you do not have any effect on people? Just ask Alexander Hamilton.

photo credit: discoodoni

For those of you who do believe in a “personal brand”, you know how this works. There’s the “real” you, and you’ve set about making sure your personal brand reflects that. Your core values are expressed consistently across a wide variety of communication channels. You make sure that what and how you communicate about yourself is both relevant to your target audience and differentiating from your competition. You’re proud of your brand and what you’ve created but one thing is nagging at you.

See, there’s this other side of you that’s disorganized, parties too much, swears on occasion. Or maybe it’s the side of you that is so driven you sometimes forget the niceties of social interaction. Or you are painfully shy, or you ramble on and on, or you can never remember where you put your car keys.

The real you is a complex person, and far from perfect. So what do you do when you want your brand to be perfect but you aren’t?

Communicate. And demonstrate. Keep the focus on your positive qualities. You can tell the world about those – in an authentic, non-boastful, factual way. But better yet, demonstrate those qualities every chance you get.

Want to be known as a “friendly, smart problem-solver”? Talk with people. Ask what their problems are. Help solve them. A world-class strategist? Start strategizing, publish your thoughts. Want to be known as “creative?” Create things. Bake pies for a homeless shelter with cool designs on them. See how quickly people start saying, “Oh, you’re so creative.” And then notice how quickly that trumps shyness.

Word of mouth is great. Word of action is better. Hint: if you don’t have time to actually do the things you want to be known for, you’ve chosen the wrong brand for yourself.

The right personal brand will allow you to have flaws. If you do a consistently good job of branding the qualities you want to be known for, people will forgive you for your flaws. In fact, they will consider you more human. Caveat: keep your flaws legal and unhurtful to others.

Get out there and make mistakes. Then show the world how you fix them. One sign of a true professional is how much grace they exhibit when things get ugly. Go ahead. Demonstrate how you would fix a mistake, say your sorry, admit failure. And if you make a mistake while fixing the mistake, guess what? Do it again until you learn how to do it well.

If your real self and your brand don’t align, one of them needs to go. Tired of feeling like you are “hiding behind your brand?” Don’t.

In this world of transparency, know you will be found out. This is a good thing. Transparency means that everyone’s flaws, mistakes, shortcomings will become more obvious. Perhaps the world will become more forgiving. But, in the meantime, here’s another strategy: as other peoples’ weaknesses become apparent, use your strengths to help those people. Then watch how quickly your own strengths come to life.

I think of personal branding this way: It’s not that you can’t be yourself. It’s just being conscious of what you want the world to remember.

Photo credit: wjklos

I heard a story about Christopher Columbus when I was about 6 years old. It had nothing to do with crossing the ocean, or the Nina, Pinta, or Santa Maria, or with the world being flat. I do have some vague jumbled memories of all those things, but this is the story that has stuck with me for 40-odd years

Columbus is at a dinner party when he holds up a raw egg. “Can any one of you guests,” he says, “make this egg stand on end using nothing more than your wits and what’s on this table?” The guests puzzle over it, try it and fail. After they give up, Columbus pours a pile of salt on the table, and stands the egg up in the pile. When he blows away the salt, the egg remains standing. “But that’s easy!” protests one of the guests, indignant. “Of course it’s easy,” states Columbus mildly. “Once shown how.”

I use this story in my own life two different ways. Often, there are times I don’t know how to do something. Once someone shows me how, it’s easy. Getting over my fear of looking stupid before asking is often the hardest part of the process. But the other way I use the story is for those times when there is no known solution. What to do? Forge a path, figure it out, come up with a solution that has beauty and elegance and looks like it was the easiest thing in the world. Then blow away the salt, and watch what happens.

When my son was about six years old and learning to read, we were huddled in bed, looking at a book. He pointed to a picture of a boat. “What’s that?” he said. “That’s a boat, Johnny.” “No, it’s not Mommy.” I squinted, looked again. Was I wrong? It looked like boat to me. “I can’t sit in that boat, mom.” He grabbed the book from my hands and tried to sit on it. “Will it float? Can I take it to the bathroom and put it in the tub? It’s not really a boat, is it mom?”

For years after that happened, I told people that my insight from this story was that boys were more literal than girls. Which could be true, but perhaps misses the point. I think a better insight might be this: Sometimes people just need to have one more piece of information than you are willing to give them.

After all, Johnny just wanted me to tell him it was a “picture of a boat.”